Fwd: the Lawyer, actuary and the Accountant

An actuary, a lawyer and an accountant are discussing the merits of having a mistress or a wife.

The lawyer reckons it is better having a mistress, because the wife can take everything if you should come to a divorce. The accountant reckons it is definitely better having a wife, from a taxation perspective.

The actuary reckons it is better having both, because when you are not with the wife, she thinks you are with the mistress, and when you are not with the mistress, the mistress thinks you are with the wife, and that way, you can spend more time at the office.

The lawyer and the engineer

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean.

The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."

That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."

The lawyer thought for a moment, but was puzzled. Finally he asked the engineer, "How do you start a flood?"