Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Fwd: FW: Black Church

Fwd: FW: Black Church

1. Service starts at 11, but 50% of the members arrive at 11:20

2. All the cars in the parking lot have been freshly washed
3. The pastor doesn't come out until 45 minutes after service has
4. For 10 minutes, the choir discusses which song to sing
5. The choir sings the song but the musician doesn't know how to play
6. The parents whip the kids during worship
7. The audience has to help the announcement clerk pronounce the words
on the church bulletin
8. Two of the church deacons have gold teeth
9. The members socialize and speak during the tithes and offering
10. When church is over no one discusses the pastor's message. They
just compliment each other's outfits and hair
12. Members give $20, but wait for $18 in change back
13. The single women give each other signals when a handsome guest
minster is invited
14. You find notes after church that say: 'That's not her hair'; 'Who
is that baby daddy?' ;'He need to sit down'; 'What you fix for dinner?'; I
know she ain't got that on!'; 'Let me borrow a $1 for offering.'
15. It takes 8 deacons two hours to count $400
16. There is a slot on the tithe envolope marked 'Building Fund'
17. That afternoon service is either: Choir Day, Usher Day, Or Men and
Women's Day!
18. The Pastor's teenage kids never attend church
19. The Pastor's car has either a rag top or rims
20. The women have on expensive heels, but have house shoes in their
21. You see more than 5 people pass someone gum or peppermint
22. Someone will feed a baby cheetos, sugar cookies, crackers, or
vanilla waffers in the sanctuary!
23. Someone will wear white in December
24. Men will have on suits in the color of bright yellow, lime green,
hot pink, sky blue, and candy apple red with shoes to match!
25. People will have an $80 bible, but will have to look in the table
of contents to find the text of the pastor's message

Sounds like you are in a real Black Church!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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