Tuesday, May 27, 2008

How do you tell a love one that they need to lose weight

How do you tell a love one that they need to lose weight?

A Heavy Discussion
John H. Sklare, Ed.D
Monday, May 19, 2008

How do you tell a loved one that he or she needs to lose weight without angering or offending them? This is a very difficult subject to broach because it opens the door to all kinds of intense emotions. However, allowing someone you love to continue along the path to obesity and illness is simply not an option in my world. Sure, our loved ones are free to ignore our concern and advice, but to say nothing or do nothing is simply something that I find unacceptable. So what do you do if you find yourself with a loved one who is in need of a wake-up call and a wellness makeover?

If you’re in this sensitive situation, I suggest you sit down with your loved one and say something like the following: “I want to talk to you about a very touchy subject. It’s only going to take a few minutes, and it’s going to be very difficult for both of us. But, because I love you and care about you so much, I simply feel compelled to speak up. However, before I begin, I have one request I would like you to agree to. First, I don’t want you to say a word. I know that is going to be very difficult to do, but I only want you to listen today. I will give you an opportunity to respond later. After I finish, I am just going to get up and leave.”

I might add that a short hug, touch on the shoulder, or kiss on the check might be a good idea as you leave. Finally, ask the person to pick a time tomorrow when you can meet up for their response. Then express your love and leave. Asking the person not to respond allows them to really listen, allows you to get your thoughts out uninterrupted, and eliminates the potential for an argument. I have taken this approach myself, and it typically works out well. Do it with compassion, sensitivity and love, and you just may be surprised at what happens!

Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare

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